The Ups and Downs of 3

Oh, to live with a three year old....the highs and lows. We'll probably see these emotional and behavioral waves again during the teenage years. Jack's highs are breathtaking: a vivid imagination (see above as Jack role played being a veterinarian), conversations teeming with new words and ideas, an endless curiosity for the world around him, and the joy of witnessing his first true friendships. Our budding musician runs out the door for school, continues to have a love of reading, beams with pride on the soccer field (even when he's miles away from the ball), shows a genuine love for his brother and amazes us with the joy he gets out of each and every thing he encounters.

And then the lows...oh the lows! Jack's mischievous side has been slowly creeping out since his third birthday. He likes to see just how far he can push a limit and even go beyond it at times. Unfortunately, "no" is a word that we are all saying more often these days. Jack loves to dote on his little brother as they play together, but he'll also try to get in a jab here or there, too. I find myself counting "1...2...3" in my sleep and we're wearing out the carpet in the time out spot.

As a counselor, I know this is a developmental phase. In fact Erik Erikson describes this period of toddler hood in the following way:

Toddler: Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt (2 to 3 years)

• Psychosocial Crisis: Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt
• Virtue: Will

As the child gains control over eliminative functions and motor abilities, they begin to explore their surroundings. The parents still provide a strong base of security from which the child can venture out to assert their will. The parents' patience and encouragement helps foster autonomy in the child. Highly restrictive parents, however, are more likely to instill the child with a sense of doubt and reluctance to attempt new challenges.

Patience, patience, patience, patience. Go forth, Jack...venture out and assert your will. We love you so much, and we'll ride these waves together.